Gav's Blog

2004-10-04T16:51:00.000+08:00

I Don't Want To Be by Gavin Degraw

I don't need to be anything other than a prison guard's son
I don't need to be anything other than a specialist's son
I don't have to be anyone other than a birth of two souls in one
Part of where I'm going is knowing where I'm coming from

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me

I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by a deadly crisis everywhere I turn
Am I the only one to notice?
I can't be the only one who's learned

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think about me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me

Can I have everyone's attention please
See, not like this and that
You're gonna have to leave
I came from the mountain, the crust of creation
My whole situation made from clay, dust, stone
And now I'm telling everybody

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I'm trying to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
I don't want to be
I don't want to be
I don't want to be

I don't want to be

2004-09-27T09:35:00.000+08:00

Howdy floks..its been a while. Lets see where do I begin my story ? I'm working for my dad's company even though I much rather be working elsewhere. Its not that I don't like working for my dad, it is just that working for your dad is like not really working you know what I mean? The pay is good though and I guess my dad could use an I.T person around but somehow I just know this is not what I want to be doing. Come to think of it other than going to full time ministry I never had any desire to do anything else. I guess that is what happens when you know what God's will for your life is. I don't know how to explain it but I guess there is a sense of emptiness in what I'm doing now. I guess I shall just do the best I can for now until the lord leads me to a new place. Well that is basically how I've been feeling over the past two week or so. It's amazing how growing up I use to have these big dreams for my life but now that I've grown up, they seem to pale in comparison to what I want to do for God. There is just a deep sense of wanting to do so much more for God at this moment in my life

Anyway it was Wan's Birthday last week, I got him a copy of the Sims 2, reminds me of someone..sigh I wonder what might have been. Anyway Wan is without a doubt my bestest bud. He has been there for me in almost every situation over the past six years of my life. I guess you dont find very true friendship very often but I guess I'm just thankful to have not only Wan but a whole bunch of other guys and gals who truly capture the true meaning of friendship. Hehe I'm being poetic again.. Oh well got to get to 'work'..hehe see you guys soon . *smile*

2004-09-19T20:43:00.000+08:00

Hey peeps...I know I haven't been blogging much lately. I guess for me this is a period of observation for me. Lately I find myself fascinated by the people around me. Everyone seems to have interesting lives these days. I guess I'm taking time to smell the roses so to speak...hehe

Anyway something interesting did happen, I receive a rather nice sms with a bible verse but I have no idea who sent it. Maybe I should sms the person back to say thank you or something...hmm life is funny like that sometimes...haha. And ya I gave myself until October to find a job if not then I guess I'll be working for my dad...which is not too bad I supposed. Oh well till I have the mood to write more, you peeps have a great day tomorrow.

2004-09-14T07:26:00.000+08:00

RESTING IN GOD'S WILL FOR US

"Cease striving and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10 NASB

I recently heard from a man who used to have a very successful career as a pastor, but who had fallen on hard times, and had been unemployed in recent years. Though he had impressive qualifications, including plenty of experience, he could not find a church that would hire him, because of some problems in his past that he had long overcome. He shared with me how he was becoming increasingly frustrated and despondent over the injustice of it all, and he was growing weary of constantly trying to figure out exactly what he should do.

After I earnestly prayed for this man, I shared with him some biblical truths that have encouraged me over the years. In John 19:11 (NIV), Jesus told His persecutors, "You would have no power over Me if it were not given to you from above." If the Lord allows others to turn their backs on us, or to do us wrong, we can take comfort in the fact that He has a divine purpose for it, and that He will work it out for our good somehow. (Romans 8:28) Knowing this will help keep us free from bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness toward those who have treated us unfairly, or who we feel may be hindering our progress or success.

I have often taken great comfort in the words of John the Baptist, when his followers came to him distraught over the fact that he was losing many of his disciples to Jesus: "A man can receive only what is given him from heaven." (John 3:27 NIV) These words remind me that I can "enter God's rest," where my life and ministry are concerned, and I can trust the Lord to help me fulfill my God-given purpose and potential, as long as I'm earnestly seeking to do His will on a daily basis. (Hebrews 4:3) When I'm striving for more than the Lord has ordained for me, I get nowhere, and I only end up feeling frustrated, angry, and depressed. Scripture reminds us, "Cease striving and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10 NASB) The Lord doesn't want us to be driven; He wants us to be led--by His Spirit. (Romans 8:14) If we will let God be God in our lives, and yield to His divine plans for us, we will experience the abundant, victorious life that Jesus died for us to have.

Whenever I face disappointment or difficulty of any kind, one of the first things I do is claim God's promise which says, "The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me." (Psalm 138:8 NIV) This reminds me that no matter what obstacles come my way, God is in control, and He will move heaven and earth to see that His perfect plans for me come to pass. In Isaiah 43:13 (AMP), the Lord promises: "I will work, and who can hinder or reverse it?" When the time is right in the Lord's sight, no one--not even the devil himself--will be able to stop God's blessings and rewards from reaching us. We don't have to threaten, or scheme, or become greedy graspers. All we have to do is rest in God, knowing that He has a bright and beautiful future for us that far exceeds our wildest dreams!

Lord, when I face trials and disappointments in this life, remind me that You are in control. Guard me from the bitterness and resentment that can hinder my prayers and my fellowship with You. Help me to cease striving, and to enter Your rest, where my future is concerned. Thank You that as I live my life for You, You will turn every obstacle that comes my way into a steppingstone to success!

Taken from Jesus Freak Hideout

2004-09-13T17:31:00.000+08:00

The interview was so super stressful...first they made you take a 20 questions test, the question were crazy...erm like 'define the job you are applying for", how on earth are you supposed to define what is an MIS officer...and get this the last question was in no less than 100 words please describe yourself...madness. After all that they ask you to wait even longer and they send you to be interview by this lady, I was a lil nervous but I tried to be as charming as possiblle..haha, ya don't think I will get through on my wit alone :) Anyway she said the scariest thing I ever heard "This is your second screening, if you get selected, then there will be more interviews..oh boy.. I know most of you think I should go work for my dad, but I guess I really want to be out on my own and not depend too much on my parents..dont know la..hehe.

Anyways today is Bell's birthday. all together now let's sing ..happy birthday to you, .happy birthday to you. .happy birthday to Bel. .happy birthday to you...hehe hope you had a wonderful day. Oh yeah and Nikki is out of Malaysian Idol...boo hoo..what nonsense...she was one of the better singers. Sometimes I think Malaysian are tone deaf or they are just voting based on popularity. I tell you if the ah beng fella..Vic wins I'll just die..hehe

And Sheryl I'm so so so going to miss you, be good in U.K..and yes yes I'll wait for you..hahaha. Anyways it wasn't exactly a good day today but I know with God all things are possible and I will cling on to the verse that says "Christ in me the hope of glory"...

2004-09-10T07:14:00.000+08:00

Hey peeps...morning...haha I can hear a rooster crowing...which one of my crazy neighbors has rooster in the city. I used to remember where I used to go visit my grandparents in Ipoh, they had all these farm animals...not like cows la but chickens and rabbits ect... Wait are rabbits farm animals? hehe. Anywayz I am going for a job interview this Monday with a company called Celframe, judging for the website it looks like some canggih it company, but they do seem a little desperate to get employees based on how the information posted on the site. Haha maybe it's not so good to mention that during the interview. I am intrigue by this company coz they seem very laid back which is always a good thing...hehe.

Yeah and I started watching Queer Eye For The Straight Guy, just wanted to see what was all the fuss about, turns out its a pretty good show. What reality TV show will those crazy peeps in U.S come up next? Please pray for me ya for this Monday hopefully I can charm my way through and they just fall in love with me much in the same way all of you have...haha.

2004-09-07T18:51:00.000+08:00

Haha okla after hearing numerous complains on why I don't bother to write much these day...I shall please all my adoring fans and update you guys on my ever so eventful life...as eventful as it can get anyway...hehe. What have I been doing...sending out resumes after resumes after resumes. I just sent one to MITV, the new paid TV that's coming out soon. I know Wan also sent in an application. They have a few I.T jobs which seem like not too bad. I think it would be like so cool if I get to like work there and haha then I can get all my wonderful friends (yes you) free subscriptions..haha I doubt it...maybe if I work there they would like give all thier employees free subsription...haha that would be cool. Hmm...than again I watch way too much TV as in it. Sigh the problem with having Astro and streamyx and all the time in the world...how unproductive

Speaking of TV shows, let's see what's good...hmm...there is Australian Idol, Last Comic Standing, Ed, John Doe, Amazing Race..and the list goes and on. I want one of those flat screen TVs where you hang on the wall...that would be cool. You know what else is cool, the new imac. Hmmm birthday is coming up...hint hint...haha. Nah I would prefer a candle light dinner with *ahem*...yes yes still waiting for her to fall from the sky. Wouldn't that be cool on my birthday she falls from the sky...wishful thinking. It's kind of cool though seeing a few of my friends getting togather...love is in the air...awww

Hey check out the Australian Idol website and look for this gal called Ricki-Lee and this guy called Courtney, he is this really down to earth guy which is so nice to see in this kind of industry and he can sing really really well too. And if you are in to Malaysian Idol...vote Nikki...haha ok I don't like her because she is a nice looking gal, I like her coz eh she is the only one who can sing properly I guess..okla I'm being mean...see this is what happens when you sit at home everyday and be unproductive.

Truth be told I kind of miss most of my friends but that's life...things change...

2004-09-06T01:05:00.000+08:00

Hey peeps...I'm half asleep but since you'll miss me I'll just write something..hehe. Yes Gav is just a lil crazy and hyper in the wee hours of the morning. Let's see I've been watching way way too much TV these days and eh trying to find the elusive formula for writing a proper resume. But I have faith in God that I will get a decent job sooner or later...hehe. You know it's weird coz as my birthday approaches, I drift further and further into the fact that I'm no longer a boy but the fact that I'm a man...haha but ya I don't really wanna grow up...ah well I called it my peter pan syndrome...haha. I know this entry does not make any sense but my brain is sort of like on 'sleep' mode at the moment and for fear of not making any more sense I shall stop here...hehe. For tomorrow is another day the Lord has made and I shall rejoice in it

2004-09-02T16:38:00.001+08:00

Ok it's official I'm going to sell nasi lemak at the side of the road on the way to Ipoh (or some other remote town)…haha There are just no job for IT grads..I call up this guy to arrange for and interview and after saying I have Honors Degree from the University of East London, he said I was over qualified. Haha and the best part is the job said 'software system support"..eh if I'm over qualified for that, then I have no idea what is the right job for I.T grads..just plain crazy..hehe. I'm too lazy to blog about my day...maybe later. But ya had my alone time in Mid Valley which was fun and pleasant indeed

2004-09-01T23:43:00.000+08:00

Don't feel like blogging much today ..wait till I get a proper keyboard. For some unknown reason keyboards just don't like me. I think over the past two months I changed like three or so keyboards..hehe. Note to self: Stop buying cheap keyboards made by some "unknown" company in some far far away country haha...ok my fingers hurt from using this lousy keyboard. I want my Logitech keyboard
Hmmm... this thought came to me I wonder if my future wife or gf or whatever is going to read my blog and realize what a complete nonsensical person I am ? hehe

2004-08-30T20:11:00.000+08:00

I just took a stroll down memory lane, II was reading my very first blog which I started somewhere in 2003. Reading made me realize I was alot more care free back down and my entries were full of joy and alot more crapiness..haha. Hmm must be the sign of maturity I guess, I'm still joyful, just a little bit older and wiser I guess, I think I'm going to post up my previous entries that most of you have not read. I kind of like this one

July 4thh 2003

If words were the expression of one's soul, then no amount of writing could ever say what's in the very depths of my heart. I'm just so amaze at times where I can feel so much without ever being sure of what is it that I'm feeling for. Must be the rain, yeah that's my excuse for everything, blame it on the rain :)

I wish I can tell you all what the feeling is like, but something's even the best of writers are lost for words. I just feel like going to the beach and watching the sunrise, to be lost in the moment or go dancing under the moonlight, sounds crazy but..that's just the way I am.

I don't think it's love cause I don't think I can love anyone at the moment, although one day I know I will. I like 80s music, everything sounds so sweet. I'm listening to Breathe's 'How Can I Fall". It talks about how this guy wants so badly wants to fall in love with this girl, but can't seem to and he decides to leaves but promises to marry her one day. Don't really understand it but it sounds nice.

It's days like these, that makes you remember all the people in your life that means something. Over the years especially in college, I've gotten to know some really wonderful people. And everyone of them have touch my life in their own special way. It's funny how you can impact someone's life without actually realizing it.

Maybe this feeling is just the peace that God has given me, to not worry about the things around me, but letting Him lead my life. I guess it's that assurance I have in a God that will never fail me

There are so many things in my life that contribute to me being happy and though sometimes I feel like I don't deserve it, but I know it's the best gift that I could be given. If you are reading this, just know that you probably change my life in your own way and for that I thank you

God Bless and smile always

Haha..ain't that just sweet ? If you guys want to read about my life back then, click here

2004-08-28T23:39:00.000+08:00

FINDING STRENGTH IN CHRIST

Just when I thought God lent a deaf ear
He called my name and said, "Child, I am here."
I know some times seem hard, and you feel so alone,
but I have never left you all on your own.
The pain you endure I cannot explain,
but the life you live now, won't always be the same.
Hold onto my WORD with a small bit of faith,
and I will deliver you from this one day.
Just when we think God has left us alone,
He shows us we are so very strong.
The pain we endure, will we one day testify,
of how God delivered us from the nights we cried.
Just when we think God can be so cruel,
He touches us and makes our spirit renewed.
Frowns turns to smiles, death turns to life,
future no longer dim, but so very bright.
Just when I thought I couldn't live anymore,
God stepped in, and opened lifes door.

I got this off someonne's blog, no idea why I stumble on that entry but I guess God wanted me to read this..and you know what the song Angels by Hillsongs is playing in the background..sometimes I'm just amaze and how God choose to show His love for us..at the most unexpected of times...

2004-08-28T23:08:00.001+08:00

Dreams by Diana Degarmo
Dreams are just dreams
When it's dark inside your head
And all it takes is a little help from you
You know it's true
That dreams are for real
When you see what I see
And you feel it too
We took the longest road
Just to make it harder
Let's do it all again
It only makes us stronger

[Chorus:]
Dreams
I guess we're just made of dream
Nothin' else matters
As long as we believe
I'm lookin' at you
And I see my life
Passing before my eyes
And when the journey's over
And all my dreams come true
I'll dream of you

What do you see
When you look inside your heart
A little thought
Can walk a thousand miles
And change your life
When dreams lead the way
The impossible is suddenly in sight
Every step you take
Just brings it all together
You gotta keep the faith
When all seems lost forever

[Chorus:]
Dreams
I guess we're just made of dream
Nothin' else matters
As long as we believe
I'm lookin' at you
And I see my life
Passing before my eyes
And when the journey's over
And all my dreams come true
I'll dream of you

You're the one
That keeps my hope alive
My vision clear
I'll spend my life with you
Conquer fear
We'll make it through

Nothin' else matters
As long as we believe
I'm lookin' at you
And I see my life
Passing before my eyes
And when the journey's over
And all my dreams come true
I'll dream of you
I'll dream of you
I'll dream of you

Haha I have no idea why I find this song nice..maybe as Sheryl would put it..it sounds a little 'epic I don't think she heard this song but yeah if she did she probably say it sounds "epic". Ok..I have no idea what I'm trying to say but ya ..go listen ..it's just nice

2004-08-27T17:40:00.000+08:00

Bleh I come to realize that is nearly impossible to find a decent job for I.T grads, it's either like super low pay or like crazy working hours. I also come to realize that employers don't really look at your CV or even talk to you about what you are qualified to do. Every company I talk to said the same thing "We are have been in the industry for 10 years", which is kind of funny coz when you visit their office, it's just basically a small room with a desk and a few chairs. I mean if you are in thee industry for 10 years wouldn't you be able to afford a bigger office or at least more furniture...haha. You know you always hear stories about being picky, it's not that it's just the simple fact that employers are not looking for quality but cheap labor. I sound a lil angry don't I? Haha I'm actually not...Infact I find this dilemma rather amusing

2004-08-24T09:12:00.000+08:00

PAIN'S POSITIVE OUTCOME

"ARISE [from the depression and prostration in which circumstances have kept you--rise to a new life]! Shine (be radiant with the glory of the Lord), for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you!" Isaiah 60:1 AMP

While I was attending college years ago, my high school sweetheart of more than three years broke off our relationship. I was right in the middle of one of my toughest semesters when it happened, and I felt like this breakup couldn't have come at a worse time. At first, I couldn't focus on anything, and it seemed like everything in my life lost its meaning, including my studies. I wallowed in self-pity for a while, and when I got tired of that, I became filled with indignation and determination. With renewed vigor, I threw myself into my studies, and not only did I do well, but I succeeded in attaining a perfect 4.0 average for the semester.

Over the years, I've realized what a great motivator painful experiences like these can be. I've discovered that when we become disillusioned and disappointed by people, jobs, or other things, the hurt we experience can act as a catalyst for needed change in our lives. If we've become too complacent, or too comfortable with the "status quo," or if we've lost sight of our fondest dreams, visions, and goals--a painful situation can jolt us into making some necessary changes.

One of the things I love most about God is that He never wastes our pain. If He allows us to go through a hurtful experience, He always has a purpose for it, and He always works it out for our good. (Romans 8:28) Sometimes the Lord will use heartbreaking circumstances to point out some things in our lives that have gotten off track. Many times, our priorities need to be reevaluated. Or our goals need to be reassessed. Whatever it is, God will show us how to deal with it, if we will turn to Him for guidance and grace. During a trial, I like to pray, "Lord, show me what it is You want me to learn from this experience." I don't want my trials to be any more lengthy or intense than absolutely necessary, so I like to humble myself before Him, and be as receptive to His instruction during these times as I can. Each time we face disillusionment or disappointment, we have to decide if we'll become bitter or better. Those who turn to the Lord for help will emerge from their trials with greater strength, faith, and purpose.

If you are going through a difficult time now, take heart! God loves you, and has a positive outcome planned for your trial. Turn to Him, trust Him, and by faith today declare like the apostle Paul--"This is all going to turn out for my good"! (Philippians 1:19 TLB)

Lord, when I face hurtful circumstances, please remind me that You can bring much good out of them. I pray that painful experiences would motivate me, and help me to refocus, rather than cause me to become depressed or bitter. Thank You, Lord, that as I turn to You in times of disappointment and despair, You will fill me with a fresh sense of hope!

Taken From Jeesus Freak Hideout Jesus Freak Hideout

2004-08-23T16:05:00.000+08:00

Wow it seems like I haven't blog for ages huh ? Wlell I''ve been really busy...trying to settle some stuff to go to AIM, which is this short term bible school thingy. I'm not sure if I'll be going yet coz they dont have enough people to start the classes for this term, so yeah have to pray real hard that more people sign up. Over thee past weekend I went to one of my church's outreaches in Desa Petaling. I was there with Raymond, Ben, Patrina and Amanda. It was loads of fun, we went door to door evangelism, we conducted the youth service and also the Sunday service. There were a couple of interesting incidents. We were basically pair up with another person from the outreach to do evangelism, I was paired up with one of the church committee members. I remember going to one house where this lady had this cute lil boy maybe about 4 years old and while my team member was sharing about the activities about the church and stuff, I kept this kid entertained. He was like so so adorable..hehe. Actually it was pretty hard to share with most of the people there, since most of them spoke madarin, and my mandarin is limited to three wonderful phrases ..hehe. Anyways all in all there were a total of eight salvations from the two days we spent there. Praise God and it just goes to show just how good God is, if we let Him use what lil we have for His glory.

Besides that I've been doing this 'assignment" for a job interview. I have to design a brochure for sandwiches, kiosk. website, newsletter, and take a photo of a food setting...madness I tell you. But the pay is really good for a fresh grad, anywayz I don't think I'[ll get the job but ya just doing it for fun and see what happens. Because if there is no AIM this sem then I guess, it's back to looking for a job...

2004-08-20T09:21:00.000+08:00

  I wasn't planning to blog but something just occur to me. You know how I always encourage you guys that as Christians, all of us should stand up and be counted. It just annoys me when people don't seem to understand that all your friends are not going to see who God is in our lives if all we do is just talk about our faith but don't live our faith. It's sad when we stand doing things for God out of convenience and not because we love Him. Like I always say love is a choice and what's the point saying 'I love You" but then just sit back and do nothing. This isn't just biblical truth it is just plain common sense, that if we say we love someone then when we are called to do something, we should just do it and stop counting the cost. Love that is based on counting how must it would cost us...is not really love at all.

Matthew 25:34:46

34   "Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35   For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36   I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

37"   Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

40"   The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

41   "Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42   For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'

44"   They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'

45   "He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'

46   "Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."

Hope I didn't sound too preechy..wasn't meant to be that way but ya just felt like saying something. Anyways you guys have a great day, I'll be back soon to blog about my ever so interesting life..haha ya right :)

2004-08-17T04:06:00.000+08:00

NOT MY PROBLEM!

"Don't fret and worry--it only leads to harm." Psalm 37:8 TLB

Years ago, my husband had a friend whose favorite phrase was, "Not my problem!" It used to irritate me to no end whenever I heard him say it, because I thought it made him sound insensitive and unfeeling. I had forgotten all about this friend and his favorite phrase until recently, when I was worried about something, and I heard my inner voice say, "Not my problem!" I was horrified--that is, until I prayed about it, and sensed that it was the Spirit of God prompting me to say it. You see, I had been fretting about a problem that I had no business fretting about. I didn't realize it at the time, but after I prayed about it, the Lord made it clear to me that He didn't want me taking on this particular burden, and He wasn't giving me the grace to deal with it. So I promptly put the matter in His capable, loving hands, and I told Him that I was trusting Him to handle it in His perfect way and timing.

As long as I can remember, I've had a problem with taking on other people's burdens. Once, when I was in counseling many years ago, a godly woman said to me, "Joanne, you can't bleed for everyone." Her statement shocked me. She was a strong Christian, and she exemplified Jesus unlike anyone else I had ever met. And yet, here she was telling me not to care so much about others. She saw firsthand what this kind of "caring" was doing to me. I was depressed and anxious. And I suffered from numerous physical ailments that were undoubtedly related to my depressed mental state. During this time, my family was going through some pretty serious trials, and at one point, I made myself so sick with worry that I ended up in the hospital with stomach problems. My Aunt Peggy, who had never spoken a harsh word to me in all the years I'd known her, called me on the phone and began to chastise me. She said, "What are you doing in that hospital?! Do you really think you're doing anyone any good by making yourself sick?!" I knew she was right. And I made a quality decision that day to do my best, with God's help, to resist taking on more "caring" about others than I could handle.

The Bible says: "Cast your burden on the Lord [releasing the weight of it] and He will sustain you." (Psalm 55:22 AMP) God never meant for us to carry our own burdens. Our hearts, minds, and bodies are simply not designed to handle this kind of stress, and they will rebel if we insist on weighing them down with heavy loads of worry, anxiety, and fear. Let me ask you something: If God makes it clear in His Word that He doesn't want us carrying our own burdens, do you think He wants us carrying the burdens of others? No way. And this is a revelation that a large number of Christians need to get ahold of today.

What can we do for our loved ones and others when we see them struggling with their problems? Sometimes, we'll know right away that we need to step in and lend them a hand, and the Lord's grace will be there to help us help them. But for the times when we're not certain what our part should be, we should promptly pray for the wisdom and guidance that God promises us in His Word. (James 1:5) Even if we sense in our spirits that it's not wise for us to get directly involved, we can pray for these people, and ask the Lord to send them some special encouragement, as well as timely and effective help. Sometimes, we'll need to pray that these folks will learn to rely more on God, and less on others. In those cases, God will not be pleased if we intervene and hinder the work He's trying to do in their lives.

Adopting this principal will help us to come up to a new level of peace in our lives. It will increase our joy. And it will make it possible for us to fulfill the call of God on our lives, which we can't do if we're busy trying to solve other people's problems, or if we're worrying ourselves sick. This strategy will help us to mind our own business, too, which the Bible clearly tells us to do. (1 Thessalonians 4:11) The next time you're tempted to take on someone else's problems, or to stick your nose where it doesn't belong, remember these three little powerful words--"Not my problem!"

Lord, fill my heart with the God-kind of love, so that I'll always be compassionate toward others. When I'm tempted to shoulder other people's problems, remind me that you alone were meant to be the Burden-Bearer. Thank You that as I follow Your Spirit's leading in this area, I will experience the peace, joy, and well-being that Jesus bought for me on Calvary!

Taken From Jesus Freak Hideout

2004-08-16T15:58:00.000+08:00

Hey peeps..I'm like so bored..haha I should be resting now but...oh well..hm I wonder what everyone is doing? Don't know why all of you just came to my mind..haha. It maybe the fever talking but I really love all you guys..haha seriously you guys are the best group of friends a guy could ask for...awwww. Having said that, why is nobody coming over with chicken soup? hehe. Being sick makes you think alot..kind of miss Joanne..haha yess she's my ex..just hope that wherever she is she's fine and happy. Yes people weird thoughts comes to your heead when you are sick. Sigh what's a guy to do..hehe :) You know if someone comes over with chicken soup now I just might fall for her..haha ..yes yes I want my future wife to be motherly. Hmm...ya I should come up with a list of qualities I want in her..wait la when I'm not so sick :)

2004-08-15T18:19:00.000+08:00

Hey peeps..not feeling all that hyper lately. As most of you guys already know that I plan to go into full time ministry one day. I know I have a calling upon my life. As time goes by I realize that I cannot run from this...even though sometimes I really really want to. I guess it's a struggle for anyone who has been called to ministry, part of me wants to have the life I want and part of me wants to just leave everything behind and follow Him. Don't get me wrong He is my everything and will always be, but being a Christian and being called into full ministry are two separate things. Sometimes I ask God why me ? Of all people You could have call why call this simple less that ordinary person ?

And it's hard sometimes because at 23 it' still a really young age to carry such a responsibility. I know going into ministry is one of the greatest and hardest acts of obedience I would have to face. Haha come to think of it I never had a 'normal' life, which makes it that much harder to give up my dreams because while I watch my friends pursue their hope and dreams and still love God all the same, I know God's calling upon my life is not as simple as that of my friends. I guess I need to take it one day at a time but ya believe me it's still a struggle every single day. but I pray and hope that at the end of it all I would tell Him "Your will not mine and more of You, less of me". I know to most of you this doesn't make much sense, but at the very least you will see the reality of God in my life and I choose to serve a God that is as real as the air I breathe. You know I really wish that He would bring someone who understand so that I won't have to face this alone :)

2004-08-13T06:42:00.000+08:00

This is freaky; I just woke up like not too long ago, I had the weirdest dream...weird because it seemed so very real. You know how dreams are all vague and don't seem to make sense, this is like the total opposite, it make perfect sense and it felt more like a memory than a dream. It started out with me finding my friend crying and as tried to console her and ask her why, she said it was because someone had read something on my blog and found out that we were close and they started teasing her about it and the stuff they said about 'us' were not true.

After she stopped crying we went into a living room (haha I had no idea who's living room). It was at this point, she started to ask me questions, which I still remember but not going to tell you guys coz it's kind of personal. But basically I told her stuff about my life that nobody else knew, stuff like what I fear the most in life. The weird thing is even in real life, nobody knew those things about me only God...I'm serious. Okla before you guys misunderstand, it was nothing bad, just very personal. Anyways I started to cry and I told her "You'll always be the person I run too, but I can't this time" I knew exactly what that meant but just don't want to say it here We had this whole like hour long conversation about everything about me and it felt so real. I could feel all the emotions, sadness, joy. After the conversation I realize that me meeting her and having such a friend in my life was no coincidence. But you wanna know what freak me out the most? In the dream I was starting to fall for her...now that is just scary :)

I know that dreams are just dreams but you will be spooked too if it was this real. To be able to recall every word that was said and every emotion that was felt...just leave's me speechless. I do believe that dreams are sometimes more that what they seem but ya I don't know what to make of it...it could just mean nothing but then again sometimes God does use dreams to tell you stuff. Now I know the question on everybody's mine is 'who is she'...Well not telling hehe but ya maybe I should tell her what happen

2004-08-11T19:00:00.001+08:00

I don't normally do surveys but this one is kind of fun..hehe.

What are you doing right now?
Doing this survey..

2. Do you have a best friend on the net?
Don't believe in making meaningful friendships online, after all I got best friends in the flesh

3. What do you plan to do tomorrow?
Go for an interview with this IT firm..going to college for lunch after that

4. What is your bf/gf like?
Hmm...like...haha

5. Do you wait for someone to come online?
Hmm..that's a bit sad rite, would mean that I miss someone too much

6. What did you eat today?
Roast Beef sandwich from subway

7. How do you know when you love someone?
When you know you fall in love with all over again each time she's around..awww

8. Do you have a job?
Why do you think I'm going for an interview?

9. What do you want out of life?
To be a man after God's own heart and to have a family of my own

10. Do you not like someone?
Nah not at the moment I think everyone is likeable in one way or another..hehe

11. Do you feel comfortable telling ppl your
inner secrets?
Depends on who

12. Do you prefer yahoo or msn?
MSN..never use yahoo before

13. What is your ideal body?
Haha..hmm I'm more of an "eyes" and "smile" person so ya looks doesn't matter that much to me

14. What is agony?
A life without God which also means death

15. Who is the first person you think about when
get up in the morning?
God..seriously no joke

16. Would you ever wanna be a mayor?
Haha..what on earth for?

17. Do you like spiders?
Only ridioactive ones..haha

18. What is your least fav critter?
Never like bugs unles they were cute like in a "Bugs Life"

19. Do you shower daily?
DUH

20. Have you ever told someone something, just
so it wouldn't hurt their feelings, knowing that
what you are telling them is completely false?
Competely false? hmm nah don't think so, then maybe I have

21. What would you do if you found out your
loved one was cheating on you?
I pray that would never happen

22. Do you like straight hair or curly hair?
Depends on the person..

23. Name 5 ppl other than your bf/gf that you
talk to on the internet?
Kian Seng, Bel, Mich, Marilyn, Ryan..what's with "other than my gf"? Dont have one so ya :)

24. Do you feel comfortable talking about
private things in a chatroom?
Don't go into chatrooms

25. If you could go anywhere in the world, where
would it be?
Canada

26. How do you feel about gay marriage?
Against it

27. Do you believe in abortion?
Nope

28. How often do you eat fast food?
Almost everyday..Anyone wants to cook for me?hehe

29. What is the thing you hate most about your
bf/gf?
Why is she taking so long to find me..haha

30. Do you ever wish you were single?
The real question should be"Do I wish I had someone"..haha

There you have with..I just realize I'm so crappy..haha..anyways will blog bout my day later..see ya :)

2004-08-10T06:32:00.000+08:00

This is a lil strange even for me, I'm blooging at 6 in the morning..haha wasn't supposed to wake up but I did. Oh well something just caught my attention and since I can't go back to sleep I might as well blog. Just read one of those survey thingy from a friend and it always amuses me that people seem to put down the name of their gf/bf under the question 'Who do you love ?" or something like that. Its sweet la but I often wonder why people actually do it. I guess it's just for fun but ya it just makes me think..wait for the day when someone actually answers a question like that and puts my name down..then I'll let you guys know how it feels..haha. You know I had my fair share of people declaring their love in public..haha..come to think of it, it was pretty sweet. Hehe can't really go into the details of it but for those of you who were there, you knew who I'm talking about...hehe

You know one day I'll look back at the things I write and just laugh. I do realize that lately people who I thought would have nothing in common with me, actually DO have a lot in common which is a good thing. Oh well today is just another day I hope God will bring some clarity into my life..Because if you guys only knew everything that has been going on..haha then again who would understand but God? Hey people welcome to my wonderful world..hehe

2004-08-09T19:59:00.000+08:00

One Pure And Holy Passion

Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You

Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me on magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You

To know and follow hard after you
To grow as your dicsiple in your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you, my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you

Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after you
To know and follow hard after you
To grow as your disciple in the truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you

Lord to know and follow hard after you
And to grow as your disciple in your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you

Just wanted to post this up..this is my prayer that is to know and follow hard after my Lord and Saviour, Let this be my magnificent obsession for all the days of my life

2004-08-09T18:09:00.000+08:00

Hey peeps, couldn't really sleep last nite, slept at like 4..hmm what was I doing? Well chatting with a few peeps on msn..goodness I notice my friends all don't really sleep...haha that can't be healthy in a long run. Infact today I wasn't feeling too well signs of no longer being 18..haha

God is so wonderful sometimes, eh what am I saying God is so wonderful all the time haha. Anyway lately I've been getting this conviction in my heart to do something but I just don't know if I should. I know when God prompts you to do something, normally you just do it no question ask. But this time its like God is showing me things and though they are all good things, it does get a lil scary sometimes..oh well I'll just wait and see what God does

On a less serious note Bel recommended this blogging software called w.bloggar which is cool, it makes blogging so much more easier. If you have a blog you should give it a try. Though I'm not too sure if it works with xanga.

I highly recommend this new series called The 4400, is a super chun show. It's about these 4400 people who suddenly appears out of nowhere, after being abducted by aliens..okla sounds lame but you guys should go watch anyway :)

Oh yeah and Arsernal is still the best...wohoo 3-1 not bad huh ?

Till next time by wonderful and ever so adorable readers..haha byeeee

2004-08-07T22:55:00.001+08:00

You Saved Me by R. Kelly

I was riding in my car one day
In the express lane rollin on the freeway
And suddenly the phone rings then I
Reached down beside me then i look
On the floor felt on the backseat
See I was drinking while I was driving
Never thinking bout what I was doing
I turned around and before i knew it
Here comes this truck now

Doctor said don't think he gonna make it
Family said make the funeral arrangements
Unplug the machine he's gone now
Then told my wife to be strong now
Then a small voice said told me
If you promise to stop drinking
I surrendered on that day
Now for ten years i've been straight

You saved me
You saved me
You saved me
You saved me
Gave me a second chance
You saved me
You saved me
You saved me

Now i've been sitting in this chair
Waiting on the phone to ring
Praying up to God that someone will call
Me with a job opening
Cause it's been so hard for me
Month to month struggling to eat
But still there was no answer
I stop believing in his word and
Got so mad at him and
When somebody said God's good
I just laugh at 'em

But in the nick of time his blessing
Rain on me
By his grace the phone ring
A lady said were hiring and
That's when I knew

You saved me
You saved me
You saved me
You saved me

Now i was 18 out there on the block
Selling drugs
With a gun at my waist
And for people I had no love
See the streets was my home
Family and friends were all gone
Had no one to trust
And deep inside i was all alone
And a deal went bad one day
And it was enough to pause me
I was shot 4 times and before i
Knew it I was on my knees

Blood pushin out my body
My heart's beating faster don't know what i'm gonna do
I don't think i'm gonna last then
I begain to flash back on the things
I done in my past
Then I heard a small voice that said
I'll give you peace if you believe
I accepted Christ that day
Halilujah now i'm free

You saved me
You saved me
You saved me
You saved me

I was in the aisle of the grocery store
With a pain in my chest and I'm wondering
Where did it come from (I got tested)
And the results came back
And the doctor said i'm sorry but u got cancer
I could not beleive it so
I call my mama to calm my nerves

(mama) she got down on her knees
(mama) she said a prayer for me
(mama) just keep on thanking Jesus
(mama) he'll give you what you need
(thank you Jesus)
Now that was five years ago
I don't have that pain no more
Doc said you can go home
Cause all that cancer's gone

You saved me
You saved me
You saved me
You saved me

You saved me (said you saved me)
You saved me (but you saved me)
You saved me saaaved me
Gave me a second chance (second chance)
Halilujah saved me
Saved me saved me
Wooooooh You saved me

You gave me it was by grace You saved me
I'm so thankful that You looked down on me
Saw me standing there
I was at the end of my rope no where to go
And you gave me

No where to go (and you saved me)
I was down and out 2
I was doing drugs 2
I was running the streets 2
Never felt love
I was wilding out
You saved me
You stepped in ooh save me

You saved me

Can you believe that I saw this song on MTV..never thought I hear such a song, giving praise to God. When I hear songs like these I really think that God is moving in ways that we have never seen before. It's about time Christians stand up and be counted for His glory :)

P.S: Hehe Sheryl asked me a question today and the answer is "no there is no one" hehe

2004-08-06T21:16:00.000+08:00

Today God reveal a powerful truth to me as I was just sitting around thinking about stuff. It suddenly dawn on me how we often try so hard to say it's ok to give up our dreams and we fool ourselves into thinking that is what God really wants and on the outside we seem fine, but on the inside we fight this constant struggle to say it's ok and everything is fine. But what if God doesn't really want us to give up those dreams but instead just be honest with God and tell him what we want, of course God already knows the desires of our hearts, but He just wants us to tell Him openly and honestly. God often gives us free will to choose what to do and if we are walking right with God, we would already know what is His will and what isn't.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that everyone of our desires are right but there are certain dreams that have been given to you for a reason but so often we think that all our own dreams cannot be God's will and we make God seem like this controlling God. God is not a controlling God, in fact God is a loving God and the bible says that He will grant us the desires of our hearts with the condition is that we abide in Him and part of what it means to abide in Him is to not be fake and pretend that we are doing ok. and that we are happy to give up our dreams. We must always remember there is a different between God given desires or dreams and worldly dreams. I guess what I'm trying to say to you is to not be fake and seem so good by pretending to say it's ok God, You don't have to give me this, I'm fine. We should always tell God the truth and say to Him, God I have this desire in my heart but what do You think? And He will definitely tell you what you should do...

2004-08-05T21:43:00.000+08:00

PLEASE pray hard hard ok peeps. Got my overall results today and guess what I need 1 mark..okla more like 1.5 to get Second Upper..sooooooooooooooooooo frustrating..argh. I dont know if I should laugh or cry..haha I'm actually laughing right now..or maybe I just gone crazy. But in any case..Praise God..yes I will praise Him inspite of my frustrations. But God please make the English people be nice to me and when they decided to give me my final grade, they would be nice and push my grade up..hmmm does anyone know if English people are nice..hahaha BLEH..I don't like this feeling...who wants to eh make me happy? haha

2004-08-05T03:44:00.000+08:00

Leave Right Now by Will Young

I'm here
Just like I said
Though its breaking every rule I've ever made
My racin' heart
Is just the same
Why make it strong to break it once again?

And I'd love to say I do
Give everything to you
But I can never now be true
So I say

I think I'd better leave right now
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave ri-ight no-oow
Feelin' weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me how
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now

I'm here
So please explain
Why you're openin' up a healin' wound aga-ain
I'm a little more careful
Perhaps it shows
But if I lose the highs, at least I'm spared the lows

Now I tremble in your ar-arms
What could be the ha-arm
To feel my spirit calm
So I say

I think I'd better leave right now
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave ri-ight no-oow
Feelin' weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me how
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now

I wouldnÃ¢Â€Â™t know ho-oow to say
How good it feels seeing you today
I see youÃ¢Â€Â™ve got your smile back
Now you say your right on track

But you may never know why
Once bitten twice is shy
If IÃ¢Â€Â™m proud perhaps I should explain
I couldnÃ¢Â€Â™t bear to loose you again

Mmm mmm mmm

I think I'd better leave right now
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave ri-ight no-oow
Feelin' weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me how
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right no-ow
Yes I will

I think I'd better leave right now
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave ri-ight no-oow
Feelin' weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me how
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now

It's 4 in the morning and wonder why I'm still awake listening to this song :)

2004-08-04T21:58:00.000+08:00

Hey peeps...truth be told life has been pretty quiet lately, infact a lil too quiet for my liking..hehe. Life is funny that way, when you wish things was less complicated, they usually aren't. But when thing start to settle down, you wish life was a lil more hectic. Yes yes I'm weird..hehe. Sometimes I do wish I was back in college. I think over the past month or so I have grown a lil more mature...*cough*. But ya over the years I have learn not to take my life too seriously...coz if I did, I think I would have been crazy by now...I have learn to find joy in the Lord over the years.

Just thinking what would I say to the girl of my dreams when I finally meet her...hehe ya your mind would wonder bout things like that too, if you were alone in an empty house in the still of the nite..hehe. Anyway I get the impression that everyone is like hoping I find someone soon..hehe like in the movies where you always root for the not so good looking but good guy...hehe but way I am cute..yes yes perasan...it's hard not to like me huh? Lol. Tell you what...when I do meet someone who I totally adore you guys will be the first to know..haha besides God that is :)

2004-08-04T13:22:00.000+08:00

Hey peeps my new blog is finally up..will make more changes later..will blog more soon..till then.. :)

ONE STEP AT A TIME

2004-08-04T13:00:00.000+08:00

ONE STEP AT A TIME

"Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don't be afraid or discouraged by the size of the task, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. He will see to it that all the work...is finished correctly." 1 Chronicles 28:20 NLT

Once when I was at a wedding with family members years ago, I was speaking to my Aunt Peggy about my fears, worries, and concerns. She took my hand and led me to a long staircase in the restaurant in which we were dining. As we stood at the bottom, that flight of stairs loomed before us and looked endless. She pointed to them and told me not to look at the top or the middle, but only at the first step or two. She said that if I tried to take all the steps at once, I would fall. But if I took just one step at a time, I would eventually make it to the top. I often think of that lesson from my Aunt Peggy when I'm faced with difficult or scary tasks, and it helps me to put things in perspective.

The Lord reminded me of this lesson from my aunt recently when I had allowed my household chores to pile up to an alarming degree. Each time I thought about tackling the mountain of tasks that had accumulated, feelings of fear and dread would overwhelm me. After seeking the Lord in prayer, He instructed me to start out small by concentrating on only one room at a time, instead of the entire house all at once. Shifting my focus made all the difference. With God's help, I was able to begin the work--and beginning was the hardest part.

I've learned how various aspects of a task can intimidate us to the point where we will put it off as long as we can. The mere size of a task can frighten us and literally paralyze us with fear. We can also feel intimidated by any risks involved with the job, or any pressures associated with it. I know from experience how a fear of failure can immobilize us and hinder our productivity. Whatever the cause of our fear or dread, we don't have to let our fears control us. We can seek God in prayer and ask Him to help us focus on taking the first step involved with our task. If we refuse to focus on more than one step at a time, we'll be able to move ahead and begin to make progress. All the Lord wants is to see us make an effort to cooperate with Him in accomplishing our task. Once we demonstrate to Him that we're willing to take the first step, His grace will be there as we need it to take each successive step. I don't stop praying once I've actually begun a task. I keep praying all the way through, being sure to thank and praise Him for His continued help. I always find that this not only helps me to complete the task, but to do it with more joy and satisfaction than I anticipated.

Proverbs 16:3 TLB says: "Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him to help you do it and He will." As we ask in faith for God's involvement in all that we do, He rewards us with the motivation, energy and skill we need to get the job done successfully. If you are a child of God, you've been equipped with Holy Spirit power to accomplish even difficult and "impossible" tasks with a holy ease and joy. So when you've got a daunting task before you, take heart from the words above that David spoke to his son, Solomon, when he was faced with the awesome task of building the temple of God. Don't be intimidated by the size or pressures of the task, but remember that God is with you and He will help you every step of the way!

Lord, when I'm feeling discouraged and frightened over a task before me, show me how to focus on You, instead of my fears. Help me to concentrate on taking one step at a time, and to cooperate with You to accomplish the work with a holy ease and joy. Thank You, Lord, that because You're with me, I shall succeed in all my undertakings! (2 Kings 18:7 TLB)

Taken From Jesus Freak Hideout